Easter Thoughts - Part 2

I just published my first theological discourse!!

I've had a pretty liesurely, yet busy weekend; I got a lot of stuff done in my personal life and my social life. I worked a lot, and I did almost no homework. But my weekend is not over yet. The cool thing about TMC is the Easter break (4-day weekend).

So, I have no class Monday, but I have to work and do some exercising/running; not to mention I have homework that I need to do and projects to be thinking about. Ok, so it's not too stressful, but I'd like to get it done soon and not have to be rushed later. I'm pretty bad at procrastinating (or good at it I guess) and personal deadlines mean nothing to me.

One of the things that I'm really procrastinating about is my "NEXT STEP". Since I'm set on going to grad school, I have to get going on that stuff. The problem lies in the closure of this stage of my life and some fears I have about the next stage. I understand that any big change is scary, and that I've gotten through all of the previous ones pretty well. However, this is different...

When I went from grade school to high school, it was mandatory and I had no decision in the matter. I just had to brace myself and make do; that, I am good at!! Going from high school to college was difficult because I had to choose where and what major, but it was still expected of me and I just had to brace myself and make do. Right now, grad school is eventually expected of me by my profession, but it's not pressing. Here, I have to choose where, what area, when, and finances; so I can't just brace myself and make do. I have to be proactive and motivated (what's that mean?).

Life comes at you fast... no shit Sherlock!!

I think the biggest source of uneasiness comes from choosing where and in what area I'll earn my masters. I have a program in mind and it's only offered at two schools close by. The problem is that I'm not so sure I'm ready for the next level of Chemistry. Even so, I have to consider all sorts of scenarios: If I can't go for free as I plan, do I still go now? or do I take out loans to pay for it, since I think it would be best?

Of course, a major part of the decision is the fact that I might absolutely love grad school and my new friends; and I might even find it a hassle to come "home" to visit. After all, I will be very busy with school. Of course, I'd have to give up C! and Christian Awakening for the time. I think I'm ready for that step because I've given back that way. Who knows, I may be called to come back to NKY and eventually be an adult Christian Awakening Leader. I know I have to make a step to go to the next part of my life, but it's so hard to leave such a wonderful life as I have here.

I'll be sad to leave my closest friends, not for my sake but theirs. I know we'll stay friends, though not as close, physically. I worry that I'm abandoning them and I fear that they will need me when I'm gone.

The funny thing is that I can hear God saying to me that I have to offer these thoughts to Him and trust Him to do what's best for me. I wonder why God sounds like Donna Heim in my head??

Well, I guess that's settled...I'll just count on God to show me the way.

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Right Now ~ Spent

A few minutes ago ~ Pensive/Thoughtful

Easter Thoughts - Part 1

Easter Sunday

It's interesting how we humans are creatures of habit; every week Catholics fulfill their obligation of the Sabbath by uniting to celebrate the Eucharist. Now this tradition has been passed down since Jesus' Last Supper with his disciples. When we gather for this celebration, we remember how and why Jesus died; each week we re-establish our place in Christ's body.

Sadly, because of our habits and lack of total understanding about why we celebrate Christ's sacrifice the way we do, many of us find the Mass to be boring, just another part of our religion, truly as a mere obligation.

So I wonder why it is that each year we have a very special celebration of this Paschal Mystery, one that is held in higher regard and more attended than "every other" time we do this. We plan extensive liturgies and musical arrays for this one week. Many Catholics think that this time of year is "more important" than the rest of the Sundays. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the some of those Sundays are called Ordinary Time (indicating the ordinal number of 1st, 2nd, 3rd in a count of those Sundays rather than the connotation of the word implying "less than impressive" time).

So why is it that we make such a big deal about "Holy Week"? Why is it that this random week in the year is held as the representation of the actual re-enactment of Christ's death?

Well, we actually believe that every celebration of the Mass (even weekdays) is just as important theologically speaking. Truly, every time we gather for the Eucharist, we believe that Christ is present in the bread and wine and that we recommit ourselves to Him. The weekly celebration is the reminder of His death and resurrection and the re-enactment of His Last Supper.

In Jesus' time and before, the people had a different view of time; a view that is hard for us to grasp. They understood time, not as a linear progression of events with a past, present, and future, but as a living story. In this view of time, they did not think back to remember Moses and their fathers' delivery from Egypt; instead, they believed that each year at Passover they were actually re-living the event, that each year God was blessing them and leading them from the slavery of whatever oppression they were expreiencing. We call this oppression sin.

So today when we celebrate Easter Mass, we are taking a cue from our Jewish ancestors and watching as Jesus again and again puts himself on the cross to die for our sins. Rightly so, Easter is a special time of year; we celebrate the same Eucharist, but we not only remember the historical Jesus who died for us, we actually believe that He is dying again. That is why the congregation has a speaking part in the retelling of the Passion, namely the crowd condemning Jesus to die.

This is a very powerful comment, long-winded too!

Happy Easter

Ahh, Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

"You comin' back to me
Is against the odds,
It's a chance I'll have to take.

Take a good look at me now..."

Why the sudden stroke of happiness?

Well, This week I called the Super Ass (I mean Assistant Super Intendent - a great guy by the way) back and gave my decision about teaching next year (see the previous post to the right -->). I said that it would be too much for me to handle at one time. I am really glad that I chose this path, because I'm sure I would have been miserable if I chose otherwise.

I wasn't sure at first if it was the right decision, because I thought I was being selfish to want to be free my last semester of college. I had a weird feeling about the decision and I wasn't sure until after I made it what that feeling is about.

The Director of Campus Ministry reassured me that by no means was I being selfish, because this may be the last chance I have to "let my hair down". I was glad to have her support, because as crass and stubborn as she can be, I value her opinion.

So anyway, this week I realized a possible reason for God to lead me this way. This past fall, I was too busy to be too involved in C! and Christian Awakening; this kind of sucked and I didn't want to have to sacrifice such an important part of my life again. I feel called to do something big this coming year that teaching would not have allowed me to do. But who knows, maybe teaching was the big thing. I am confident that I'm doing God's will though. A friend told me that you know you've made the right decision when you feel a load come off of your shoulders. I definitely feel that way.

Peace ~